Eros Daily Musings and Digressions

A few weeks ago, I noticed some Tweets of MayMay’s regarding personal attacks, and was shocked to read  that he had been singled out because of his leadership in KinkForAll and called a child molester and pedophile.

A group called “Citizens Against Trafficking” (which Maymay has been referring to “Citizens Against Sexuality Freedom and Discussion” (CASFD)),  and which is co-founded by a University of Rhode Island professor named Donna M. Hughes and one of her students, Melanie Shapiro, issued a bulletin authored co-authored by Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks (a professor of economics at Bridgewater State College, nee Margaret Landman) portraying KinkForAll as an event ‘for kinky sex and sadomasochists.’”

This couldn’t be further than from the truth.

Let’s remember that Donna M. Hughes is the same person who lobbied mightily in favor of the law that criminalized indoor prostitution in Rhode Island, and ridiculed sex workers when they testified against the legislation.  She also took an anti-education stance, opposing Megan Andelloux’s opening of the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health.

Both MayMay and Sara Eileen, who came up with the concept of KFA, became adults at a time where information about sex and sexuality was much more freely available through the internet. I’m trying to remember my sources of sexual information, and it wasn’t my mother, a Western trained OB-GYN (see the irony?), who had enormous difficulty overcoming cultural conditioning and discussing sex with me.

KinkForAll’s core concept is of a serendipitous, ad-hoc unconference about the “intersection of sexuality with the rest of life.” It is most emphatically NOT  an event that includes any kind of sex or play. I have personally participated in two KinkForAll events in New York City. These are fast paced events, and the goal is to share, DISCUSS and TALK about aspects of sex and sexuality. I remember the tremendous energy and enthusiasm that came out of the first event. A number of individuals have taken it upon themselves to organize events around the country, including DC, San Francisco and Providence. Yes, there is taping, blogger and participants may Twitter, but this is explained in the rules for KinkForall:

KinkForAll will be talked about, blogged, recorded, photographed and logged in order to create, share, and distribute a repository of knowledge and experience. Participants always have the option to opt outof being photographed or otherwise recorded.

Because of MayMay’s openness about his sexuality, it’s easy for him to be singled out as the poster boy. It also minimize the involvement of Aida Manduley, the university student who should be applauded and given credit for her role as the principal organizer of KinkForAll Providence, held at Brown University. See Aida’s post where she clarifies many of the issues raised in the flyer. She also talks about how Margaret Brooks repeatedly emailed Brown Univ. officials, but never talked directly to her about the event,

It’s pretty terrifying to be the subject of an attack on the Internet. You can read MayMay’s account of what has happened thus far. And it’s pretty easy to “take out-of-context statements and blend them with factual inaccuracies to produce a piece of writing capable of creating (or sustaining) irrational moral panic on the part of those who read it.”

Professors Donna M. Hughes and Maragaret Brooks are mixing up human trafficking with the exchange of sexuality and intimacy between adults. It’s as if they don’t really understand what a pedophile really is.

MayMay is trying to find common points of interest with them, and addresses their concerns  in another post, and invites their dialog on how KFA could be made safer for all participants, including young people. Will they engage and actually participate in a dialogue? Not at all likely.  Donna M. Hughes is someone who is horrified by tattooed women. Professors Donna M. Hughes and Margaret Brooks are engaged in scare tactics, not civil discourse.

This has been a rather long and rambling post for me. Other people have articulated these issues much more clearly than me. The bottom line? Stand up, and speak out. Support MayMay. Support the KinkForAll concept, perhaps by attending and/or supporting a KinkForAll event. You’ll have to excuse me now, I’m helping plan a third KinkForAll in New York.

Tags: Donna M. Hughes, education, kinkforall, Margaret Brooks, sex education, sexed

Related posts

• The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health Appeals Pawtucket Zoning Decision (0)
• SexEdEverywhere: Vote in IWHC’s Young Visionaries Contest (2)
• Bookmarks for November 24th (0)
• Bookmarks for March 23rd (0)

Amber Gray Photography

LINK quote [Amber Gray is based in New York city. Specializing in high concept fashion, beauty, and advertising].
(via Calikartel)

Links for 2009-03-26 [del.icio.us]

• VDAY.org A Global movement to end violence against women and girls
• Prosecutor sued over semi-nude teen photos case | Technology | Reuters
  The American Civil Liberties Union sued a Pennsylvania prosecutor on Wednesday over his threats to charge three teenage girls with child pornography for allowing themselves to be photographed partly clothed with cell phone cameras. The case involves the growing practice among teens of "sexting," a play on the term texting, in which nude or semi-nude photos are sent on cell phones or posted on the Internet.
• Moving from Blogger to WordPress: Best Practices - jotsheet
• Are lots of teens really ’sexting’? | Judith Levine | What’s New
  Remember “wilding” — the homicidal hellraising that poor kids of color were alleged to be doing in Central Park? It turned out to be an invention of some journalist or cop — a name for racist anxieties about invasions by the Other into a perceived redoubt of “civilized” (read: white) New York City. “Sexting” may be the latest invented scary youth trend — a name for adult hysteria about the alchemy of teen sex and technology. The Internet and other wireless means of mysterious kid-to-kid communication, are the 21st-century version of the corrupting Street, which I talked about in Harmful to Minors.
• Rope Springs Eternal: Little Face
  There are times, however, it's not quite working, when I lose track of what my friend D might call the transformation, when I fret a bit over what I'm doing, worry about her humanity and wonder about my own, my civility, the barbarism of my instincts and their disquieting manifestations. At such moments it has for years been a comfort to me when someone like Conor pads into the scene to rework my perspective, to check in on his first love, his mistress, and to affirm to all present that God is in his heaven and everything is as it should be.
• IMsL Part 2 - Being a Cis-Gendered Male at a Women’s Event. | A dirty dirty dirty Pandora’s Box of Hell.)
  So how does one navigate all of these potential pitfalls and help contribute to a more successful event for yourself and for others?