Eros Daily Musings and Digressions

• The downside of online dating | Judy McGuire | CNN.com
  But as awesome as online dating is for expanding your dating pool, there are also some negatives. The biggest negative being that it can bring out the worst in people. And by people, I mean you.
• One split in the BDSM subculture: the desire for transgression vs. the dislike of stigma « Clarisse Thorn: BDSM Outreach
  On the face of it, I have no problem with this difference — I really don’t care what draws people to their sexuality, as long as they’re doing it consensually! But a consequence of the split is that it creates tension around the question of whether or not we should seek wider social acceptance for BDSM. Arrayed on one side of that tension are kinksters (such as myself) who think it would be totally awesome if BDSM were more widely socially acceptable, so that we wouldn’t have to worry about coming out (or involuntarily being outed) to our parents or friends or employers. We don’t want BDSM to be seen as illicit! But the divide’s other side includes kinksters who feel as though bringing BDSM into the light means disenfranchising their sexual needs, because they want BDSM to seem transgressive and scary …
• Mary Roach: 10 things you didn’t know about orgasm | TED
  "Bonk" author Mary Roach delves into obscure scientific research, some of it centuries old, to make 10 surprising claims about sexual climax, ranging from the bizarre to the hilarious.
• Female inmate dies after left in outdoor holding cell | azfamily.com
  PHOENIX — A female inmate at the Perryville state prison died after spending four hours in an outdoor holding cell, according to the Arizona Department of Corrections.
• Abortion Poll Roundup (FiveThirtyEight: Politics Done Right)
  As I noted on Friday, there's been quite a brouhaha over new polls from Pew and from Gallup that suggest a sudden shift towards anti-abortion sentiment in America. The timing of these polls, on the very eve of anti-abortion protests against President Obama's commencement address at Notre Dame, and in the run-up to a probable culture war over the President's Supreme Court appointment, has guaranteed a lot of hype. Most of it has focused on Gallup's findings, since (1) the Pew poll, while showing a shift from the "mushy middle" position leaning pro-choice to the one leaning pro-life, still documented a pro-choice majority, while (2) Gallup trumpeted this headline: "More Americans “Pro-Life” Than “Pro-Choice” for First Time." Them's fightin' words.
• Feminist Pornography - What Makes Pornography Feminist | Cory Silverberg
  The definitive history of feminist pornography has yet to be written. Even when it is (and I'm counting the days) hopefully it won't attempt to create a monolithic single definition of what feminist pornography is. From a sexual health perspective it's much more interesting to look at what porn that has been identified as feminist adds to our understanding of sexual expression than to argue about what does or does not qualify as feminist porn.
• The Not-so-Straight Girl’s Guide to Picking Up Chicks | The Real Princess Diaries
• Seattle Diversions - How Rough Is Too Rough Between the Sheets? | Judy McGuire
  Maybe your ladyfriend is having trouble articulating what she wants, but if you sit down and discuss boundaries, she'll start to figure it out. This is the safest thing for both of you—if she's looking for a light flick of a switch and you deliver a wallop, that's just going to get ugly. It's a good idea to have this conversation fully clothed and in a nonsexual state of mind. That way you can figure out what she wants and what you're capable of delivering, and still have a sense of spontaneity when you finally get around to the sex.

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